Stuff

A small update on some random and not really interesting stuff:

1. Alex starts basketball in January, officially. They didn't have enough pre-k kids to do a full league but he will be getting an 8-week clinic wherein he will do drills and learn new skills. He's very excited. Oh, he also lost two teeth and got one fully in, and another is coming through.

2. Emma now speaks in half-realized sentences. Her single words are still mumbly and usually consist of only the first syllable, but by god, she can say, "OH NO" and "OH WOW!" with the best of them. She did so tonight when she saw our (fake) new Christmas tree with its fiber-optic light show. She also says "I love you" and (in context, sometimes its hard to make out) she says shoes, sock, purse, dog, arf, bye-bye, night-night, all done, down, up, bath, potty, toilet paper (it really sounds like tah pay), brush, diaper, bear, bug, butterfly, cat, meow, hair, eye, nose, book, no, and probably more that I can't remember right now. Which is totally awesome, don't get me wrong, but Scott and I had a conversation last night that went something like this:
Scott: I'm getting worried about Emma.
Me: Why?
Scott: She doesn't say words. She says sounds.
Me: She has at least 20 words in her vocabulary, that's above average for her age, she'll be fine.
Scott: Yeah, but I want full sentences.
Me: Scott, just because our son was a freak and spoke full sentences when he came out of the womb doesn't mean that all our children will be that way.
Scott: I can't accept that my daughter is not a freak.

3. I'm on break! On the first Monday of break I sent the kids to daycare so I could get all of our presents wrapped. Scott also took the day off and helped me out. Today I got the kids fed and out the door, did the last of my Christmas shopping, got our Christmas tree, exercised, got all the wrapping done, got the house picked up, took a nap (wow, that felt good), cooked dinner, took the kids to visit my mom, came home and sat for over an hour reading funny stuff on the web. I remember there once was a time that I read actual BOOKS, but I find that tha intarwebs are funnier. Sometimes.

4. Before everyone has a brain spasm about that last item (You're a teacher! How dare you say you don't read books!) I must mention that I have discovered a new series of books. All young adult fiction, since my fifth graders are the ones from whom I get the most recommendations of books lately. I started reading The Mysterious Benedict Society series while I had a student teacher and loved it. It's about four brilliant kids who use their different intelligences to solve problems and save the world. There are three books in the series and I'm on book two, and it's getting better as I go. I'm also about to start reading the Percy Jackson series, if only because I want to before the movie comes out. Oh, and I rediscovered the Laura Ingalls Wilder Little House series, and since my aunt (Hi Linda!) bought me the set almost 20 years ago and I read them over and over so often that most of them fell apart, I will be looking to purchase a new set to give to my kids. No child should be without them.

5. I got a new camera! As soon as Scott and I sit down to watch the DVD on how to use the damn thing, I'll post new pics. I used it at school to create a thank you gift for my student teacher (I took pics of all my kids and had them each write a letter to her, then put them all in a photo album). I'm loving it so far, although I've only scratched the surface on what it can do. Scott also bought himself a new Droid and a 24 inch monitor to add to the 22 inch monitor he already had (some unfathomable thing that programmers must have, I guess - dual monitors for 46 inches of screen space).

6. I didn't get my dream job. I applied for the Highly Capable itinerant position that was available in our district and kicked ass in the interview. Did everything right, answered every question, I even knew one of the women on the interview committee and had an "in." Apparently, however, I just wasn't the right "fit." I imagine that they had someone else in mind when they posted the job - standard BS, we have to post it to offer it to everyone, blah blah blah. I am, however, keeping in touch with the teaching and learning supervisor and I have a feeling she might be my in the next time the job opens up. I WILL teach gifted kids someday. Even if I have to leave the district. I could go on, but dooce's rule of "Don't write about your job on your website" keeps flashing in my head, so I think I'll save the NCLB/"Summit" rant for the next get-together.

7. I'm still working on losing weight. I hit 80 pounds a couple of weeks ago, then took a break and enjoyed cake and pizza and a few other treats (that I hadn't touched in 8 months) and now I have to work off a few pounds I had lost. But dammit, I enjoyed that, and I don't regret any of it. :-) I also realized that I have no set time that I have to lose the weight I'm working off. I still have 50 pounds to lose, but it is so much easier to get back into my good habits now that I've established them. It is harder to exercise every day what with the weather, my foot (plantar fasciitis) and my back, but I imagine once the weather gets better I'll have even more motivation. So I'm taking it easy this winter and watching my patterns, and making sure my pants still fit. My cholesterol was 111 and my blood pressure was 110/65, so whatever I've been doing has been working.


8. Aaaaaand...I'm done. For now. More later!

I've been kinda busy.

Yes, so I haven't blogged in for-EH-ver. I also haven't done much of anything to blog about.

Oh, unless you count being acting principal at school about once a week.

And, well, I guess you could count chairing the Math committee at school.

Hm...you could probably also include having a student teacher. And mentoring a colleague. And coordinating a school-wide assessment. Oh, and that other committee that I've been on for three years now.

All while juggling two kids, one of whom takes Taekwondo lessons 3 times a week and starts basketball next month. The other of whom...ok, well, she's pretty much perfect and aside from one hell of a stubborn streak, is an angel. So I guess I can't use HER as an excuse.

Anyway, I've been busy. And the USB port on this computer is still broken and Scott is hogging the laptop so I can't even post pictures of me 77 pounds lighter.
(Edited - here's one, at least.)

We did a "Biggest Loser" competition at school and I came in second place - I lost 11 pounds in a month and a half. The winner lost 26. I asked if we could count what I had lost prior to starting the competition. They said no. Can't say I didn't try. :-)

Scott has been really busy too. He even got yelled at for working all the overtime he has had to work to complete the two projects he's working on. He finally took vacation time - he has 11 days off. It worked out really well since Emma got swine flu this week and he was able to stay home with her the last two days. I'm not sure if it was really swine, because while she did have all the symptoms, she didn't cough much and she got over it really fast. Must have been a really mild case - or I just make kids with amazing immune systems (we haven't had to take Alex to the doc for an illness in two years, either). I got sick this week too, but I think it's more a sinus thing than swine flu. I wasn't sick enough to miss work, that's for sure. Or, wait, let me rephrase that - I didn't LOOK sick enough that people at work would tell me I needed to go home. I felt like crap the last two days, but apparently didn't look bad enough for germophobes to harrass. :-)

Did I mention I'm not a germophobe? I only mention it now because it's a fun segue into my next story.

Emma is anal-retentive. And detail-oriented. And focused. It's like all of the genes that make me a balance of "whatever" and "perfectionist" were divided evenly between my two children. Alex couldn't care less if his room was clean and when it comes to trying to get him to clean it, we have to sit in there and direct every. single. move. he makes. The focus is not there.

Then there's Emma. Who walked around the restaurant this evening after we were done with dinner and proceeded to pick up every single piece of trash off the floor. And every single piece of spaghetti that dropped on her booster seat. And every single piece of food that might have fallen on her shirt (but I swear, not many did, she's a very prissy eater. Who would rather eat with a fork than her hands.). And no, I did not discourage it. It was so cute to watch her toddle around the table, back and forth, offering my dad a piece of spaghetti here, a straw wrapper there, saying, "ga" when she handed them over (because they belong in the garbage, obviously).

In other news, our cats are much happier. They finally have free rein of the house again. Max didn't work out. Which is really sad, because he was a good dog, but it wasn't fair to him to leave him in the kennel for ten hours a day when he did NOT like it, and we couldn't leave him in the house because he destroyed things. Like our bedroom door. Which he tore a foot-wide hole in. I ended up taking him back to the shelter, where they promptly featured him as the pet of the week (and mentioned his separation anxiety) and he found a good home. It will be a long time before we get another dog, and it will be a smaller, FEMALE dog - they're easier to train, for one thing. I was working with Max every single day on obedience and trying to get rid of his problem behaviors, and it wasn't working. I'm thinking someday we'll get something Border Collie-sized, and maybe a puppy. But again, it will be a long time, because we don't have the time for training right now. For now, the cats are loving this, especially since they had to spend all day out in the garage so Max didn't try to eat them.

Anyway, as soon as Scott stops hogging the laptop I'll probably post some pics of me and the kids. Maybe. I make no promises. I'm busy. :-)

School starts Wednesday!

And I cannot WAIT to go back. This has been a reeeeaaally long summer for me. Partially because I've been an exclusive SAHM all summer, partially because I've been dying to get back into my routine to help along my weight loss, and partially because I'm dying for more adult interaction and stimulation.

Alex has finally cracked through the ceiling on his letters. He now knows 7 letters and their sounds - A, B, F, M, O, S, and X. He has a pocket chart in his bedroom that I put an alphabet border into, and we review the letters he knows before story time, and introduce and review one new one every couple of days. Once he knows the whole alphabet we'll start on numbers. He still gets numbers and letters mixed up (he'll say, while pointing to a group of letters, "those are numbers," and vice versa). I'm definitely happy about this - he should know the names and sounds of all of the letters and be able to count to 100 by the end of Kindergarten, and suddenly, at this rate he might be able to do both before he STARTS Kindergarten, so we're in a good place. I'm still waiting to see, but I guess he just hit a developmental milestone and it suddenly clicked. Was my worrying for naught? We'll see.


Emma is just darling. She has turned into this adorable, charming, wide-eyed little princess and she is so sweet and lovable. At her core. On the outside at the moment she's getting on EVERYONE'S nerves. She is constantly whining, screaming about something or another, and we're all getting tired of it. She started daycare last Tuesday and they said she was crying during transition times, which is not surprising, since she cries anytime I walk away from her or try to change what she is doing. Her mommy connection has gotten really annoying at times when Scott just wants to hold her for a second and all she wants to do is put her arms out for me while saying, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" I love that she wants me and that I'm so important to her, but I want her to be just as connected to Daddy too, and that bugs me. So, whining and clinging. It's just a phase...it's just a phase...it's just a phase...



Max has turned out to be a wonderful dog. He's so good, and aside from some random barking that he doesn't do when I'm around, and the occasional chewing of Alex's toys that were left outside (Alex says, "I know it's my fault, I left them out.") he has been great. I just trimmed his toenails tonight all by myself, and anyone who has ever had a big dog knows that's not easy unless your dog is very easy-tempered. He's very gentle with the kids, they love him, and he's a great security system. He had a lot of fun at MarDon this summer, playing with the other dogs in the lake.



That's about it for now. I'm still down 60 pounds, hopefully that will change once school starts and I hit my stride again. Now I get to go see if my dressier work pants still fit me or if I need to make another shopping trip. :-)

Mrs. Right (all the time)

You'd think that with me being a teacher, I would be full of wonderful educational ideas to impose on my adoring children during my summer break - yeah, I'd really rather run my foot through a meat grinder.

Don't get me wrong, I love watching them learn. Reading books and discussing new vocabulary with Alex? Definitely. Giving Emma new containers and banging implements and watching her create her own little percussion section? Absolutely. Forcing Alex to sit down (FOR FIVE MINUTES, MY GOD KID, JUST SIT STILL)? Not so much. He has decided that he WILL NOT be taught by me unless it involves a situation wherein he is bound by necessity to sit still (IN THE CAR! This works IN THE CAR!) and ONLY involves verbal discourse. An example of the times it works:

Me: Alex, do you know what 'persevere' means? It means, 'don't give up.' What does persevere mean?
A: Don't give up.
Me: Good! Now if it's really hard to get your homework done, but you keep working and trying and finally get it done, what did you do?
A: Persevered.
Me: Great! If you worked really hard to get your room clean and didn't give up, what did you do?
A: Persevered.
Me: And what does persevere mean?
A: Don't give up.

Now this may sound like a pretty big word for a 4 year old, but the thing is, this 4 year old has a pretty big brain. Which is why the fact that he won't let me drill and practice with him is so annoying. So I have to let my car be my classroom. Teaching him on the run. We look out the windows, we talk about what we see. We have vocabulary discussions and he actually uses the words we talk about in conversation later. I don't bother with words shorter 8 letters, on average, because he already has a big vocabulary. He's 4 and he uses words like persevere, for god's sake. BUT HE CAN'T TELL ME WHAT THE LETTER "L" LOOKS LIKE.

Part of my problem with teaching Alex is my competition gene - I hear parents of 3 year olds saying, "She knows all her letters!" And I shrivel inside. Because Alex still calls letters numbers and numbers letters. Now, my rational brain KNOWS that kids don't even need to know the names and sounds of letters until the END of kindergarten, and he has another whole year before he'll even START kindergarten. Plus he's a boy, plus he's verbally advanced not only for a boy, but also for his age (his verbal skills have always been ahead of the curve, even ahead of girls his age when girls develop verbally sooner). Crazy as it is, this isn't enough for me - I've got to drive myself crazy with the fact that he doesn't know his letters yet! And I know, I know, "Kids all develop at their own pace, don't push, he'll get there on his own..." blah blah, I KNOW THIS. The thing is, the kid DOESN'T ALLOW ME TO PUSH.

There is nothing more annoying than being thwarted by a 4 year old.

I know that pushing him accomplishes nothing - he's too much like me, the stubborn little snot. If I sit at the table to have him do a workbook page, he'll finish a third of it and start whining to go outside. (Yeah, that whole perseverance concept apparently was lost on him.) And if I try to get him to finish, he shuts down, whines, gets angry - even when I let him stand up to work (a classic tactic, especially for young kids and ADHD learners). And some parents out there are like, "I would MAKE the kid finish! What are you teaching him by letting him leave it unfinished?" Well, in this case, I'm teaching him a hatred for seatwork. Which is really what his future teachers are going to LOVE me for, am I right?

And the only reason I'm sitting here ranting about it is because I KNOW I have to actually let this go, because he's too smart to NOT figure it out on his own - but that means I'm not in control. And we all know how much Marci LOVES being out of control!

And don't even get me started on Emma, who won't even let me finish 2 pages of a book before she pulls it out of my hands. I have to read to her while she's bouncing around her room, hoping the love of reading will soak in by osmosis or something. Don't get me wrong, she LOVES books - but again, that stubborn independent streak - she will sit for 10 minutes flipping through books on her own, looking at the pictures, talking to the characters - but the minute I try to read a book aloud, she's got to get it out of my hands so she can look at the pictures.

I remember being pregnant with Alex and thinking, "Oh, how much fun we'll have, sitting at the kitchen table, tracing letters, doing flashcards, coloring the right number of bananas..." It's amazing how actual parenthood completely dispels your illusions of what parenthood SHOULD be. And truthfully, part of me is just feeling guilty that I can't do with my kids what my mom did with me and my brother - teach us herself and have us both reading before kindergarten. Granted, I wouldn't want to be a SAHM like she was - I'd go batshit in a month. Summer vacation drives me nuts, expecially now with two kids - I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by needs that need to be met, and my own needs (mostly for alone time and adult interaction/communication) are NOT being met. I'm truly a bitch in the summer, and it's not just the heat (but my GOD, how I hate the heat).

Anyway, it really just boils down to these things:
1. I'm a control freak.
2. I want my kids to be ahead of the curve so I look good as a parent. (Wow, it's hard to actually admit that. And I know not only is that wrong, it's also an indicator that I need therapy.)
3. I have to let go and let my kids be their own wonderful selves and learn at their own pace.
4. Where do I draw the line between letting them be themselves and letting them get away with stuff? Where is that dividing line that says, "Right here is where you have put in the right amount of effort, but this is too much?" When do I stop letting Alex get up from the table and MAKE him finish that workbook page? When do I MAKE Emma sit and read a book with me?
5. I can't MAKE my kids do anything, not without threats - and I try hard not to be a dictator. We try really hard to parent without threats - it's about choices, their own choices, and the consequences that result from those choices. But how, as a parent, do you know which choices are the right ones for YOU to make?

This is the ultimate dilemma and catch 22 of parenting. I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents made, but in the process of trying to avoid those mistakes, I'm going to make others that will screw with my kids' heads. And knowing that, I'll STILL make them. Because there is no black and white with parenting. There is no definitive manual, despite what all those publishing companies would have you believe. There is no real right or wrong, because what is right for you not only is wrong for someone else, but they will very publicly judge and berate you for it. Choose to let your baby cry it out when they won't go to sleep without screaming? You're a horrible person who doesn't care about your child and her need for comfort. Choose to go to work instead of staying home? You're selfish. Choose to formula feed instead of breastfeeding? You're lazy.

And people still want to become parents? It's really a good thing I didn't learn all this until AFTER I started having kids. Or maybe I did know this stuff then - but I chose to ignore it and live in my unicorns and rainbows fantasy (in which my kids actually sit at the table and color with me).

The truth is, one thing that parenting has taught me is that I'm always wrong. And for someone who has based her own self-worth on being right most of the time, that gets downright depressing. My god, how I love those adorable little creatures, but my god, do they constantly have to make me question every single thing I do, say or think?

Yeah. That is THEIR job.

At least they're doing it well. Maybe I can take credit for that.

I could be wrong.

One

Dear Emma,
Words cannot express how you have changed my life since you joined our family. You are the little girl I always dreamed of, the one I get to play dressup with, the one who makes my heart soar when I see your smile. And while I have to say that your brother is just as special to me, this is your letter so I'm going to talk about you and you only.

The past year has been one of the happiest of my life. Part of that comes from being healthier mentally, but a large part comes from your being such a happy, easygoing and lovable little person. You have obliged me this year by being slow about hitting your milestones, and I've been able to watch you not only as you suddenly burst into a new word or sign but watch the progressions up to that as well.

You slept through the night at 2 weeks. You constantly have a smile on your face. You LISTEN when I say no! Like, seriously, when you reach for something and I tell you no, you drop it or pull your hand away. You smile when I walk into the room, you reach your hands to me to be picked up, you wave bye bye and say bye at the same time. Dog was your first word (which has definitely pleased your animal-lover mom). You sign more, hi, bye, please, thank you, milk and eat, and you say bye, dog, Luh (Lucky), pillow, Aasssh (Ash) and cat.

You sleep like your father and are hard to wake up in the morning. When I get you up, you shake like you're freezing and it takes at least 20 minutes for it to stop. When I put you on the floor you will spend 20 minutes putting things in a box and taking them back out again. You entertain yourself and giggle at things you do by yourself. The hamster bit your finger once a few months ago and you will now touch only the green part of the cage, not the wire part. You LOVE your piano and not only play it with total abandon, you dance like nobody's watching. You dance to anything - even if I just say the word dance, you start dancing.

You are so easy to take anywhere - whether you've had a nap or not, whether you've eaten or not, whether your diaper is dirty or clean, you never fuss. The only time you get upset is when you fall down or are so tired you just can't take it anymore. You climb stairs, cruise along furniture, splash in the tub and help me dress you.

But most of all, you make me happy. Your beautiful eyes and your smile light up my life. I can't wait to go in your room in the morning and I miss you when you sleep. I ask Grandma to send me pictures in the middle of the day so I can see what you're up to.

And I can't wait to see what you become.

Happy birthday, Ping.

Love, Mommy

Hooray for standardized tests!

(If you thought that was a serious headline, you're wrong.)

We're done with WASL. Thank god. Although, honestly, I've never seen kids work so hard. I'm starting to think I might actually be decent at this teaching thing, you know. Even if those kids failed miserably, it wasn't for lack of trying, because holy crap, did they ever try. I had kids who worked so hard checking and rechecking their work that it took them two hours to do the reading tests. And before this year I had never had kids voluntarily use manipulatives during the math test - I offered, they were there, but they chose not to use them. EVERY SINGLE KID asked to use them this time.

And we're done.

I swear that was the longest 6 days of my life.

On another note, Emma has officially started talking. She's making attempts at a ton of words and sounds now. She says bye and waves when someone walks away, so not only is she saying it, she's saying it in context. She's working hard at making at least the vowel sounds in a lot of words. She's also being extremely annoying when we're eating. If we don't immediately give her food when we're eating, or she's done eating what she's been given, she lets out this high-pitched "Ah-AH!" that severely limits our chances of ever making friends with other people in the room. She only does it around food - otherwise she's a dream baby. We're working on not acknowledging the noisemaking - hopefully she'll stop before we've alienated ourselves from everyone. :-)

I can garden! Well, not really, but I can dig crap up and transplant stuff. I bought two really pretty hydrangea bushes for the front bed, and I managed to dig up my two heather bushes and move them around to the backyard bed without killing them. I've been working really hard on the beds this week. I dug up almost everything in the backyard bed, not realizing that the alyssum plants that I thought were dead really weren't. So I bought more alyssum. In the back bed we have two lily bushes, two heather bushes now, and a border of alyssum all around. Plus this beautiful little tree that popped up two inches from the foundation of our house, which receives all the warmth from the dryer vent right above it. It was so pretty that I didn't have the heart to move it, and the fact that it isn't dead yet says a lot for the protection of that dryer vent. I don't know what the tree is, but it will probably become a permanent fixture in our yard once I figure out where to move it.

The front beds have been an experiment from the beginning. When we got here they had a ton of mossy groundcover, a bunch of hostas, some bulbs and a rhody and azalea bush. Since then I've ripped out a bunch of weeds and moss, a couple of hostas and a hydrangea (because we had to get at the plumbing, otherwise I never would have gotten rid of hydrangeas). We planted two japonicas, a Japanese maple, 8 lithodora groundcover, and 5 hydrangeas. We now have two Japanese maples in our front yard - one is more bushy and looks like a weeping willow in the bed next to the rhody, and the other is more tree-like and is our centerpiece at the front of our yard. I had Scott put a ring of cement stones around it and planted alyssum there the other day.

We hired Trugreen to come spray our lawn this week. I got tired of buying fertilizer and mosskill and such and waiting waiting waiting to actually apply it, because every time I wanted to, Scott would have some reason why we couldn't. We just seeded, it just rained, I need to mow, we need to seed first, blah blah blah, I finally took the reins from Scott and called in the cavalry. Besides, I'm sick of pulling up dandelions in the backyard, and I can guarantee that Scott never does that. He mows and weedwhacks. I weed and plant. We need someone else to kill the weeds, especially with my back the state it's in.

So that's about it. I'm going to go edge the lawn today - or at least get it started before people yell at me. I feel so good these days that I forget that I've got two disks that could pop if I overdo it. On a good note, though - I've lost 22 pounds. I haven't talked much about my weightloss here because it's kind of a sensitive issue with me (always has been) but I think I'm getting to a point where I can talk about it more comfortably. So watch for a weightloss journal post coming soon.

Have a great weekend!

Easter

Busy weekend. Busy week, actually. Back to work last week and all, I was playing catchup for the first half. Then, wonder of wonders, I managed to get ALL caught up from a month and a half off of work PLUS get all my report cards done, all within 3 days. I kick ass, I'm not afraid to say it.

This past weekend Alex had a birthday party to go to, which just reminded me how much I don't like kids' birthday parties. Which reminded me that Emma's birthday is coming up. Dammit. I'm SO not in the frame of mind to do a big to-do, so I think this one will be a family gathering at our house.

Anyway, Alex's friend Geo turned 5 this weekend, and he had a mini carnival thing, with bowling, bobbing for frogs (they picked a frog our of the water and if they got the right number on the bottom of it they got a prize), beanbag toss, plus a clown doing face painting. They even rented a cotton candy machine. And I thought I was going all out by reserving Odyssey last year. Which we will be doing again for Alex this year - THAT was easy. Spend less than 100 bucks and you don't have to entertain OR clean up after a gaggle of little boys.

After the party we went to my parents' house and colored Easter eggs, which really involved Alex dropping one or two eggs into the dye, cracking another 4 or 5 "accidentally," and then getting bored and going off to do something else while Scott and I finished coloring. Which involved Scott writing dirty things on the eggs with the wax crayon. Typical.

Afterward (I told you it was a busy weekend, and this is only Saturday!) I took Alex to the Hannah Montana movie. It was awesome (the time with Alex, not the movie) because we went to a 7:00 movie, which is Alex's bedtime, so he was really tired and wanted to snuggle through the whole thing. And then we got an extra hour of sleep the next morning. WHEE! :-)

Due to my half-assery, the Easter bunny only visited Grandma and Grandpa's houses, so the kids didn't get anything from us. (Part of that stems from my being a regular Scrooge, but part of that has to do with my not wanting them to have more candy than they can choke on). On Sunday we went to my parents' to do an Easter egg hunt, then Scott's parents' to do dinner. Then we came home, put the kids to bed and passed out.

I've had my car for over a week now and I LURVVVVE it. She's so much fun to drive, and I haven't been able to find a thing that I DON'T like about her. I actually fight to drive down to Scott's parents' now, when before I wanted to avoid it if I could con Scott into it. And, as usual, when Scott gets off the laptop (whenever that might be, he's working nonstop overtime lately) I'll get the pics off my camera, onto the laptop, then move them over. Because the stupid USB port on the desktop computer isn't working, so I have to take an extra step to get pics on my blog. Bah.

In other news, Alex has finally started "getting" the whole letters/reading thing. You can tell he's going to be one of those nerdy kids who always has his head in a book. (Gee, I wonder where he gets that. It couldn't be the certifiable nerd and geek he has for parents.) He is always sitting there staring at books now and he is finally making headway with recognizing letters. He's even started forming letters on paper and can recognize a few (A, B, S and O mostly). He and I sat at the kitchen table for 20 minutes tonight, singing the ABC song back and forth so he could figure out which letter went in which box on this workbook maze we were working on. And the thing that really makes me proud? He ALWAYS goes back and checks to see what a letter should look like before he writes it. He even said, "Show me what that letter looks like" a few times. It's clicking. YAY!

Oh, and we were reading The Great Kapok Tree tonight, and his comprehension skills amaze me. There was a part of the book that talks about how, if the trees in the rainforest are chopped down, there will be nothing to hold the soil and the rain will wash it away. So we read the page and I asked him what would happen if they chopped the tree down. "The rains will come and wash away the soil," was his response. I only wish I had remembered to have a discussion on the word "erosion," because I guarantee he would have used that word in conversation at school tomorrow.

Speaking of school, he informed me that Nyomi was breaking up with him. Apparently he's been with other girls. And he hasn't decided who his next girlfriend is going to be, although he's interested in Alexandra. Hehehe...

Emma is, well, Emma. Not much to report on her end, although she LOVES being sung to before bed. I always sing her a lullaby and rock her in the glider in her room after reading a story or two. She doesn't really like story time at this point - she would rather have the book in her hands and flip pages by herself, so she only has patience for one or two short books right now. But I make sure she's crawling around Alex's room when I read him stories so she at least hears it all. She officially said Mama and Dada. Once. And she makes animal sounds if you ask her what an animal says, and then say it yourself. SO different from Alex, who already had a 20-word vocabulary by now, including almost that many signs. But I keep telling myself that HE was the weirdo and that she's normal. 'Cause that's a healthy way to label your kids. ;-) She started differentiating her signs a little this week - now she does "more" AND "please" instead of just flapping her arms for all of her signs. Oh, and last night she started fussing because her toy wouldn't do what she wanted it to, and I told her, "Emma, stop it or you're going night-night." She stopped. It worked four times. Which I think is proof that she does understand us even if she isn't talking back, so all is well and good.

Anyway, it's late and I promised Scott some snuggle time. Sorry about the lack of updates for awhile, but it'll be a little sporadic for a bit. Night all!

Emma!

Enough with the talking already. Pictures!




Tutu! I bought one like this for cousin Jazlyn too, except it's red, white and pink and longer.



Crawling! Some of her first crawling pics.

Pictures!

Finally! So I actually remembered to get my camera, sit down and upload all of my photos - plus the ones from my phone, which are actually more relevant because they captured (albeit fuzzily) most of Emma's big milestones over the past month or two.

I'll try to keep this as concise as possible, but I know some people ONLY come here for pictures and I've been sorely remiss lately. Onward!


Emma pulling up for the first time


The morning I woke up to find Emma sitting up in bed for the first time



Alex at TKD in his sparring gear


Big brother, little sister


Big brown eyes...who can resist?

SMALL BABY! This is baby Tanner, who at this moment is no bigger than 6 pounds. Can you tell how absolutely NOMMABLE he is?

More pics in the next post, plus later I'll have an all-Alex post where he shakes his moneymaker. I'm not kidding.

Love This!

You know you're in love when you begin mirroring your 10-month-old's wiggly, smiley, floppy-hand shrieking noises because you JUST CAN'T HELP IT, SHE IS SO DAMNED A-FREAKING-DORABLE.

Woohoo!

Doc says I don't need surgery. Actually, doc says they want to avoid surgery if at all possible, but that's another issue.

I have 2 disks that are bad. The lowest is the worst, and that's the one causing all the pain. I'll start steroid injections next week - I'll get a course of three and we'll see how those work. I'm hoping to be back at work by the end of Spring Break in 2 weeks.

REALLY looking forward to not hurting. And not being on mind-altering drugs. :-)

In other news, my friend Sara had her twins on my birthday! They were born at 28 weeks, so they've got a long road, but they're doing great. They were both taken off their ventilators yesterday and they're really strong. Congrats Sara!

I'm debating heading in to school today. I have to update my gradebook and print out my grades so I can do reading report cards, but Scott gets really pissed when I talk about going in to work. Maybe I just won't tell him. ;-)

Emma is hitching now. She has gotten really good at pulling to standing, and she's starting to explore walking. She's taken a few steps while holding to our hands and is getting more comfortable with it.

I think we've decided to let Alex's hair grow out. His friend Spencer at school has long hair and I think he wanted to be like Spencer. Alex has great hair, and it'll look really nice grown out...but he does have that massive noggin (you know, that big brain of his) and I'm not sure long hair will look good on him. He wanted to try it, so we'll see.

That's all for now. Off to spend some quality time with the baby girl.

Precious gems

These adorable little nubbins happened all in the span of five minutes.

Nubbin #1: So I'm telling my mom about the whole staying-in-bed-in-the-early-morning thing with Alex, and how we can't leave any loopholes or Alex will find them.

Alex: What does loophole mean?
Me: Someday when you can read, you can look that word up in the dictionary.
Alex: (this is a direct quote, and I'm not sure even he could tell you what it means) Well, dictionary raisins means PANTS!

That's right, PANTS.

Nubbin #2: After my mom tells me to stick to my guns on this issue.
Alex: Stick to your testicles, Grandma!

Nubbin #3: Emma starts crawling toward something on the floor.
Alex: (handing me a little piece of bark or something) If you find stuff on the floor that can hurt my sister you get a sticker.

And no, we never told him that.

Nubbin #4: Alex and Emma were playing with the game Guess Who - Emma was pawing at the cards and the little flippy parts, and Alex didn't want her to, so he pulled the game away and growled at her. She sat back, giggled, then growled back at him. They did this 3 times. I almost died.

You know that feeling where you love something so much your heart just wants to jump out of your chest?

Yeah. That.

Nothing new.

Emma seems to have decided she's tired of surprising us with something new everyday. Today she said Mamamama a lot, but there's no real proof that she has any clue what it means yet.

Alex had a disastrous TKD lesson on Saturday - he wouldn't listen, he started whining, and we ended up CARRYING him (yes, Scott actually picked him up and carried him) out of there early.

He seems to have entered another difficult phase, which, apparently, seem to coincide with stretches of him deciding he doesn't like to sleep. I mean, duh - the kid's tired, he acts up. So Scott and I talked yesterday and decided to make it VERY clear to him that when he wakes up before 6 in the morning (hell, even before 7, we're lucky if he sleeps past 7) he will only be allowed to lay back in bed, close his eyes, and try to go back to sleep. No playing, no talking, no banging, no kicking the bed or walls (we actually have to say all of this to him, because god forbid we leave ANY leeway - if there's a loophole, he will find it).

Anyway, we tried it this morning, and for some reason it actually worked. He woke up at 7 and I didn't think there was any chance. But Scott gave him the rundown and was about to leave when I reminded him, "Make it clear what will happen if he doesn't do it," so Scott said that he wouldn't get to see Grandma and Grandpa if he didn't listen.

We had two blessed hours of silence. And sleep, because we got to go back to sleep. Emma was up eating for awhile but she fell asleep in my arms (awwwww - I think that's the only time she's ever done that, she always has to be put down in her crib) and we actually got to sleep a little longer. The glory! The rapture!

We'll see if it works again.

Other than that, nothing new to report. It's day 5 of Project Wean The Baby, and I haven't had any ill effects - a little sore in the boobage area but nothing as bad as my back. That is still hurting, and I can't walk around for very long before I literally can't walk. Percocet helps but only if I stay off my feet.

I'm calling tomorrow to see if I can get in with the other doc.

History repeats itself

So my doc said it's virtually impossible for me to do a full 8-hour workday right now (duh) and I can't go half days without getting my pay cut in half because I don't have much sick leave (used it for maternity leave last year). So, until I either get the pain under control, which doesn't seem likely, since I'm taking percocet every four hours and still having leg spasms, or I get the consult and they shoot cortisone into my back, I'm out of work.

Which is funny, because last year, same time, I went out early because of back pain during my pregnancy. I had been hoping to work until the date of my c-section, but it was back and hip pain that made it hard to move then. I wonder if I had gotten the MRI back then that we'd have caught this sooner. Anyway, I'm going to enjoy my time off. As much as I can. :-)

Alex had black belt club class tonight. He didn't do very well, but he went to bed late last night, woke up at 5:15 and wouldn't go back to sleep, AND had both dance and an extra class of TKD today. We're going to skip the extra TKD class next week so he'll hopefully be less tired and more focused.

I found Emma standing in her crib this morning. Up to today she had only pulled up to her knees, and today I heard her making this weird chirping noise so I went to check on her. Sure enough, she was teething on the rail of the crib, standing straight up. Something new every day these days.

Well, more drugs to take. They weren't being very effective earlier, except for making me really loopy during TKD (I actually said, "We don't wear holes with socks in them," to Alex at one point). See you all tomorrow.

Aaaaand we're done.

I have a herniated disk, which is bulging outward and pinching the nerve that runs down my left leg. I will be scheduling a neurosurgery consult in the next few days. Most likely it will require surgery. Yay!

Scott yelled at me today. I believe the exact words he used were, "You are the most stupidly stubborn person I've ever met." See, I've been working half days for the last 4 work days. On vicodin. And last week, on vicodin and prednisone. Driving all over town. On my feet for four hours at a time. In enough pain that often I had to stop teaching and just clench my teeth or let out little mewling sounds. (The kids' reactions were entertaining, to say the least.)

And see, me being the selfish person that I am, I kept telling myself, it isn't that bad, people are counting on me, I don't want to let them down, I don't want them to think less of me. My kids need stability in their lives, and I AM that stability. I have to be there for them, my coworkers, my boss, my school...well, honestly, for everyone but myself. And while that SOUNDS all warm and fuzzy and selfless, really the only reason I do that is because I don't want them to think that I'm a bad person, so I push myself to make myself look good.

Scott finally called me on it today. He was pissed off, too - rightfully so. I am damned stubborn. Anyway, I have a doctor's note that I'm excused from work for the next week so I don't end up in a worse situation. Right now the disk is just bulging, but it could rupture, which would be all kinds of fun. So I'm going to take hubby's (and doctor's) orders and stay off my feet.

And I'm about to go embark on my last nursing session. The doctor gave me percocet because the vicodin isn't doing as much for my pain as it could. The last time I was on percocet Emma had some side effects, so I decided that since I've been slowly adjusting to the idea of weaning over the last month or so, I'm just going to call it good. I hurt too much to sit up and nurse her right now anyway.

I made it to 10 months! Which is 5 times as long as I nursed Alex, and 10 months longer than some women make it, so I'm going to take that and be proud of myself, dammit.

I'm going to go lie down because my leg is spasming at the moment. And I'm going to cherish the last few nursing moments I have with my daughter.

I'm in awe.

I really am. I was watching Emma play with my hair as she nursed this morning and all I could think about was, "I don't think I've documented this on my blog yet - I hope I never forget what this feels like."

It's amazing - she's so gentle when she plays with the strands of my hair, and she ALWAYS has to play with it. The first thing she does after latching on is reach out for my hair. Occasionally she'll tug a little too hard, but a "No" or "Nice touches" usually does the trick and she goes back to just gently running her fingers through it. If my hair isn't available, she'll grab her own and pull on it, but she prefers mine. It's one of those moments that you wish you could capture and freeze forever.

This has been such a big week for our little girl. She started crawling, pulling up, signing "please" and repeating our sounds when we make them to her. She does "So big!" now, on cue. She also would play with her Noah's Ark and shapesorter barn for HOURS if we let her. She gives kisses without being asked. And her little toes - have I mentioned I love baby toes? - are perpetually pointed like a little ballerina. bn vgv bh bnj bh b u u b f v bvhg vbghv

(She just typed that. I had to leave it in.)

She has also made the transition from fussing only when she needs something to fussing when she doesn't get something she WANTS. And...so it begins. The discipline thing. This week I've said, "You're fine" a LOT. Over the past month or so I started getting worried that I wasn't going to be as much of a hardass with her as I was with Alex, but that one was answered for me this week - yeah, still the hardass. If there's one thing I will NOT tolerate, it's my own whiny children. (I can't tolerate other people's whiny children either, but at least MY kids won't be the ones annoying THEM.) She is just now getting old enough that if it takes me more than 2 seconds to get the spoon to her mouth, and she starts that annoying "Waaah," I pull the spoon back and tell her, "Chill. It's still here, you're going to get it, you aren't going to starve." And she gets it when she stops "Waaah"-ing. She's learning to deal.

In other news, I go in to get the results of the MRI tomorrow. Obviously there's something wrong (duh, the insane amounts of PAIN PAIN PAIN OW that I've been in should have clued me in) because the nurse didn't just say, "The MRI was normal, you'll be fine." She said, "Let's get you in here as soon as possible so we can go over the results and discuss TREATMENT OPTIONS." So I don't know what's going on yet, but I apparently have TREATMENT OPTIONS. If I could be jumping right now, I would be. 'Cause I'm so excited about my OPTIONS. For treating...well...whatever the hell is wrong with me.

I mean, seriously, is it really that hard to tell me what's going on? Stupid lawyers and their stupid lawsuits that say I can't even know what's going on with MY OWN BODY if the stupid DOCTOR doesn't tell me. Stupids.

I have now had 5 and a half days total that I've missed work (the last three have been half days) because of this pain thing. I'm hoping that they either give me some serious drugs so I can get back to work normally or shoot me up with something that cures it. I don't care at this point, I just want the pain to GO AWAY.

Alex had another three sticker night at TKD, AND he got his first stripe on his orange belt (he has to get three by the next testing).

More info on the MRI tomorrow.

Pondering

There isn't much that's more glee-inducing than watching your nine-month-old daughter rock out to David Archuleta at 6:00 in the morning.

Talk about a spurt

(hehehe...that sounds vaguely dirty...)

Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, not much to report except that I'm going for my MRI tomorrow, and it feels like whatever the steroids were supposed to do for my back they've finally started to do this evening, which means I can sit here and type this without standing up and hobbling around the room every 30 seconds. Hopefully the doc will have not-so-scary news tomorrow, like, news that can be fixed with not-so-heavy drugs or a shot to the back or something, as opposed to surgery.

In other news, Alex had a great TKD class - 3 stickers! He also told Scott, "Seriously, Dad, why did you leave your hair all over the sink?" Because Scott forgot to clean up his whiskers from shaving. It was very cute. And again, my little black anal-retentive heart melted just a little.

And in the actual "spurt" news, Emma seems to have hit a large-motor growth spurt. Not only did she officially start crawling yesterday, tonight she SAT UP IN HER CRIB. All by herself, pushed from her tummy to her butt. Again, very cute. And while I was cleaning out the hamster cage on the floor, she was (very adorably) peeking her little face over the bumper on her crib, after pulling it down with her little fingers so she could see what I was doing. I melted.

She went in to the doc today so we could check out what we thought was an ear infection, and we now officially have Emma's first illness. She had a little sniffly cold for a couple of weeks, and that turned into the ear thing. She's on antibiotics, but it's not bad at all. My mom and I took her in today and everyone who watched us would have thought my mom and I were going to the doc, since Emma was so happy and cheerful and giggly and smiley - and my mom is hobbling along on her cane and I could hardly walk because of my back thing.

Anyway, off to watch a movie. Can't wait for Emma's first word!

Ladies and gentlemen...

we have a CRAWLER! Yes, that right there dear guests is a certifiable, butt and elbows in-the-air scooter on hands and knees!

She did it last night on the bed, and I thought, naw, it's just because she can get extra purchase on the cushy 4-inch memory foam, but lo and behold, today ON THE FLOOR she crawled! Like, 12 times! AND she's starting to pull up on her crib, which resulted in a very quick plea to the hubby to MOVE DOWN THE MATTRESS, ALREADY.

She's such an amazing baby. Of course, all moms say that about their kids. BUT MY KID IS DIFFERENT. DUH.

Anyway, it's so much fun to watch her because she's so focused. I remember when Alex was this age. I could sit him on the floor with a handful of toys and watch him promptly throw everything every which way and end up with everything spread everywhere all over every spot in the room (how about I use the word "every" one more time because I don't think I've used it enough in this sentence). He had a gleeful chaos about the way he played. He still does, although, thank god, he's actually gotten pretty good - and less pissy - about cleaning up his hellhole when he's done with it. He also had (has) a tendency to only play with toys for an average of 1 minute apiece. Which is why his room ends up the mess it is - he'll play with something, lose interest, drop it wherever he happens to be, pick something else up, play, lose interest, lather rinse repeat.

Sidenote: I received a brochure on ADHD from our pediatrician awhile back. The picture on the cover was a child playing - in gleeful chaos, no less! - in a room that looked EXACTLY like the room my wonderful son had left behind that afternoon. Toys strewn everywhere, clothes hanging outside the hamper, bed unmade and blankets askew...you couldn't walk in that room. Anyway, he's gotten better.

So back to Emma. She has been MUCH slower than Alex to reach all of the milestones - which is to say, she's right on track. While he was insanely, ridiculously early. On everything, physical and verbal, up until he was about 3. Emma has taken her sweet time, and I've gone through my daily, "Chill out, Marce, she's doing fine, Alex was just early" mantra. I also noticed that with him, I loved how fast he hit every milestone, just because they all came so quickly and it was so much fun to see the next thing coming - next week. With Emma, it's been so much fun to see the next thing coming - next month. And I love it just as much - I'm cherishing the babyness of her, while I cherished the growing-up of him. And the playing. Oh, the playing - I'm so loving watching her play.

She will sit in one place and focus on one toy. Pick it up, mouth it, turn it around, stare at it, tap it on something, shake it, shriek a little if she really likes it. If it makes noise, she'll dance (OH, the DANCING! Another whole post in itself). She will play and play with that one toy until she has figured out everything that it does, and then she'll put it down. But she won't just put it down, she looks for somewhere to put it. I bought her a shapesorter barn the other day, and now she puts everything in there. It has a barn door that she opens and closes, and not only does she put the shapes and letters that belong with it in there, she tries to shove all of her toys in there too. When she plays with that barn, she will take something out, look at it, mouth it, then put it back in. Take something else out, look at it, tap it on something, put it back in. None of this, "I'm done, where can I randomly throw this thing?" stuff, no, she's very organized. If she takes it out of a container, she puts it back IN the container. (My anal-retentive heart just let out a little SQUEE!) She also will try really hard to make things go back the way I put them originally - stackers and such she will try over and over to make them stack the way I showed her they're supposed to go. She hasn't succeeded at that one yet, but she's close.

I sat on the floor with her (painfully, might I add, I don't sit well right now) for 20 minutes tonight. I talked to her, I named things as she picked them up, I said, "Open!" or, "Close!" every time she opened or closed the barn door. And she smiled at me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

In other news, Alex had the belt ceremony tonight, where he was promoted to orange belt. I'm so proud of my two amazing kids. I bought a new book tonight called, "You're My Wish Come True." I read it to Alex earlier and he said, "I'm your wish come true, right Mom?"

Definitely, Alex. You and Emma both.

30 glorious minutes

At taekwondo tonight, Alex received a "home task sheet" from the master, and wow, was that a motivator. It's a simple checksheet with things like, "Completed homework," "Took a bath," "Cleaned room," "Kept hands and nails clean and cut," etc. So this evening after getting Emma fed and ready for bed, I let her play on the floor

(sidenote: SHE'S CRAWLING! Sort of. It's the cutest thing - she digs her toes into the floor and pushes her butt up in the air, launches her face into the floor and wiggles forward. I laugh. Hard.)

and while she was playing Alex and I went through each. and. every. item. on the home task sheet. It took him at least 30 minutes, but all I had to do was say, "OK, Alex, the next thing is _________" and off he would go. He was so excited to check off that little box - I got him to hang his uniform, pick up his toys, MAKE HIS BED (holy crap, he's actually pretty good at it too), take out the garbage, clean his ears, wash his face, blah blah blah...all without a SINGLE ARGUMENT. And when we were done, since he doesn't get "homework" or have to do "studying" (what 4 year old does?) we did his BOB books and called it studying.

BOB books are simple 2-letter books that help to teach the alphabet. He has the first 5 memorized. Yes, that's 5 WHOLE BOOKS, and granted, each one is only ten pages with about 5 sentences total, but he has them all memorized. So I go through and point to each letter, say the name, the sound, and the word underneath it, he repeats it, and then he tells me the next 2 sentences, lather rinse repeat.

He has always LOVED his BOB books, but especially so since one day a couple of weeks ago when he did the most amazing thing. We got to the second letter in one of the books and he couldn't remember what it was, so (and those of you who work with me, you especially will appreciate this) he:
1. grabbed the book from my hand,
2. TURNED IT TO THE FRONT so he could see the title,
3. said, "The C-D Book,"
4. TURNED IT BACK TO THE PAGE HE WAS ON(!)
5. and said, "D! D, duh, dog!"

Now, really, it doesn't sound all that spectacular, but when you work in education (at least where I work) you begin to appreciate the little things. And when your 4 year old CHECKS HIS UNDERSTANDING, it's a BIG DEAL. I have 5th graders who don't do that!

For you non-education types, the reason this is such a big deal is because comprehension is based on being able to look back in the passage and clarify your understanding. Adults do that naturally - we've been doing it for years, we take it for granted. But the hard part is getting kids to do it, and it's a large part of what I work so hard for every. single. day. I can't tell you how many times throughout the day that I say, "Did you find your evidence in the selection?," or "Which part of the story told you that?" or "Knock it off." (That last one is just a regular occurrence unrelated to comprehension.)

Anyway, the fact that I work so hard for that at school and came home one night to find that my AMAZING WONDERFUL ALL KINDS OF SMUSHYNESS HAPPYFACE son is doing this ALL BY HIMSELF (wow, I've used a lot of caps in this post) was a HUGE FREAKING DEAL (there I go again) so I made a HUGE FREAKING DEAL out of it. I squealed, I shrieked, I yelled, "YOU CHECKED YOUR UNDERSTANDING!" I kissed him, I squeezed him, I sent him running out to tell Daddy, I yelled some more. (See, I tend to reinforce it when kids do things they're supposed to do. But only a little. Wouldn't want to overdo it.)

So, long story long (another bad habit of mine), we had a glorious 30 minutes together tonight, capped off by a round of BOB books that he was very excited to read. He earned 3 stickers at TKD tonight, did a lot of great stuff when he got home, and we read books together while Emma shoved her face into the floor.

It was a good day.