Monday, March 2, 2009

I'm in awe.

I really am. I was watching Emma play with my hair as she nursed this morning and all I could think about was, "I don't think I've documented this on my blog yet - I hope I never forget what this feels like."

It's amazing - she's so gentle when she plays with the strands of my hair, and she ALWAYS has to play with it. The first thing she does after latching on is reach out for my hair. Occasionally she'll tug a little too hard, but a "No" or "Nice touches" usually does the trick and she goes back to just gently running her fingers through it. If my hair isn't available, she'll grab her own and pull on it, but she prefers mine. It's one of those moments that you wish you could capture and freeze forever.

This has been such a big week for our little girl. She started crawling, pulling up, signing "please" and repeating our sounds when we make them to her. She does "So big!" now, on cue. She also would play with her Noah's Ark and shapesorter barn for HOURS if we let her. She gives kisses without being asked. And her little toes - have I mentioned I love baby toes? - are perpetually pointed like a little ballerina. bn vgv bh bnj bh b u u b f v bvhg vbghv

(She just typed that. I had to leave it in.)

She has also made the transition from fussing only when she needs something to fussing when she doesn't get something she WANTS. And...so it begins. The discipline thing. This week I've said, "You're fine" a LOT. Over the past month or so I started getting worried that I wasn't going to be as much of a hardass with her as I was with Alex, but that one was answered for me this week - yeah, still the hardass. If there's one thing I will NOT tolerate, it's my own whiny children. (I can't tolerate other people's whiny children either, but at least MY kids won't be the ones annoying THEM.) She is just now getting old enough that if it takes me more than 2 seconds to get the spoon to her mouth, and she starts that annoying "Waaah," I pull the spoon back and tell her, "Chill. It's still here, you're going to get it, you aren't going to starve." And she gets it when she stops "Waaah"-ing. She's learning to deal.

In other news, I go in to get the results of the MRI tomorrow. Obviously there's something wrong (duh, the insane amounts of PAIN PAIN PAIN OW that I've been in should have clued me in) because the nurse didn't just say, "The MRI was normal, you'll be fine." She said, "Let's get you in here as soon as possible so we can go over the results and discuss TREATMENT OPTIONS." So I don't know what's going on yet, but I apparently have TREATMENT OPTIONS. If I could be jumping right now, I would be. 'Cause I'm so excited about my OPTIONS. For treating...well...whatever the hell is wrong with me.

I mean, seriously, is it really that hard to tell me what's going on? Stupid lawyers and their stupid lawsuits that say I can't even know what's going on with MY OWN BODY if the stupid DOCTOR doesn't tell me. Stupids.

I have now had 5 and a half days total that I've missed work (the last three have been half days) because of this pain thing. I'm hoping that they either give me some serious drugs so I can get back to work normally or shoot me up with something that cures it. I don't care at this point, I just want the pain to GO AWAY.

Alex had another three sticker night at TKD, AND he got his first stripe on his orange belt (he has to get three by the next testing).

More info on the MRI tomorrow.

1 comment:

Kristy E.B. said...

Wow, Emma sure sounds like she's growing up! I sure hope that your pain goes away soon and you get some good "treatment options."