I seriously think too much.

So I'm reading Dooce this morning and she's posting about a book that was written recently about teenage diary entries. (Just the topic sent me into a fit of giggles - I have my pink ballerina slipper diary in the closet behind me - I may just import a gem or two in a minute.) This entry sparked something in me mainly because it illustrates the dichotomy between what we're taught and what we eventually believe, and the journey we take to get to that point. Dooce is undeniably a liberal, but she comes from a dyed-in-the-wool Mormon family and even went to BYU, and in her diary entries she discussed some very strong religious views she once had about gay marriage and other topics. In other words, she once was a very religious conservative, and now she's a very NON-religious liberal.

So having taken quite a similar journey myself (not on par with hers, necessarily, since she was and is a little further to each side than I was/am) I was wondering some things.

So it's a natural human tendency to rebel against authority. Which I think is a wonderful thing in the long run (not necessarily while you're parenting teenagers, but eventually, I mean) because it allows for freedom of thought and gives us the ability to develop our own belief systems. My question is, if you are taught something by your parents that they very strongly believe in, what are the chances that you will believe it too?

Like I've said, my parents were very strong conservatives - but they never pushed the religion issue. Now I'm a very liberal conservative with no religion whatsoever. One thing I have seen is that for those who begin to question the beliefs they are taught, the stronger those beliefs are in the people who taught them, the further away some fall from them as they grow. I have a friend whose husband's parents are one particular religion that is very much a "women cannot wear pants, can't cut your hair, must be subservient to your husband" type of faith. Once he got out of the house and was able to form his own opinions, he became an atheist. But a couple of his siblings are still active in that church. My husband grew up in an LDS household and still believes in God but is not interested in being active in the church, while his older brother is very active and the church is a big part of his family's life (Hi Kristy!).

So where do you find a balance? I'm always wondering how I should approach belief systems (politics or religion) with my kids. I'm tempted to just let the chips fall where they may since it was really important to me that my parents allowed me to develop my beliefs on my own. They aren't exactly ecstatic that I'm not a true Republican anymore, but they respect it. I do believe very strongly in some things but I don't want my kids to think that they HAVE to believe the same way I do. In fact, I would probably be happy if either of my kids chose to be the opposite of me, because that would mean I've done my job and allowed them freedom to choose.

One thing I do NOT agree with is ANYONE saying that there will be consequences for not believing one particular way. Which is probably why I have such a problem with Christianity and religion in general - for example, the whole Catholic idea of going to Hell if you're not Catholic doesn't exactly sit well with me. It just contributes to the whole, "I'm better than you because..." mentality, or at least that's the way I feel when I hear it.

I've always said that I will teach my kids as much as I can about all religions, and about the lack thereof (since I'm rather familiar with that one) and when the time comes, allow them to make an educated choice, hopefully avoiding bias on my part as much as I'm capable. I'm sure my in-laws would adore it if Alex or Emma chose to join them on the road to the Celestial Kingdom (does that need to be capitalized, Kristy?) and I'm glad that my kids will have them as a resource. In the opposite vein, I always make sure to tell my 4 year old when he asks me about Jesus that, "Some people believe this, other people believe this." Some would say that has to be confusing for a kid his age, but as smart as he is, I know he's taking it all in, and I hope it makes for a well-rounded kid.

So I guess I answered my own question. It doesn't really matter how far from your parents' beliefs you end up - it's the journey you take to get there. And the fact that they offered you the chance to make your own story.

Stay tuned for some truly hilarious diary entries from my 13-year-0ld self. One in particular that everyone who knows me will probably die laughing after reading. :-)