All day I've fought this niggling little feeling that I have SOMETHING I should be doing, that doesn't involve tossing Emma in the air, reading stories or blowing raspberries.
Don't get me wrong, if there's anything that could convince me to be a stay-at-home-mom, Emma is it. She makes this whole thing look easy. She gets fussy, feed her. She gets fussy after eating, put her to bed. Let her entertain herself as long as she wants, then play with her the rest of the day. That's pretty much it.
But I can't help feeling guilty about not being at work. Scott (and everybody else) won't let me DO anything - I can't drive because the pain and the percocet are too distracting. I can't clean because I can't bend down. I can barely shower because I'm standing for too long (and I hate baths). (BTW, here's the mindbleach. You're welcome.)
Today was the first day I actually stayed home all day - the other days I've gone to spend with my mom, but that even makes me feel guilty because SHE won't effing sit the hell down. I'm not supposed to DO anything. And I'm BORED.
Anyway, I'm hoping to spend the day with my mom tomorrow so I'm at least not so bored. And I'm planning on trying to go without percocet for a bit to see if I really need it or if I can manage the pain some other way. To be continued...
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