REALLY Piss Me Off, Why Don't You

So the in-laws borrowed Alex last night and are keeping him for a couple of days. I'm enjoying my quiet morning reading various blogs and such, when through a movie-review website I found this link.

"Butterbodies"

Reading that article made me want to pick up my cat litter box and dump it on the head of the asshole who wrote it. And then pour more cat pee on his head so the litter really clumps up in his ears.

You know, I actually read Maxim magazine, and when my ex had a subscription to Playboy way back when, the girls and I who hung out at his apartment actually spent more time reading it than the guys did. (Although that probably stems from the fact that we were actually READING it, as opposed to ogling, but still...) I appreciate the humor, for the most part. And face it, I would read a napkin if it had something printed on it, I just like to read that much.

So I can appreciate and occasionally understand the stupid stuff I see on Spike TV when I'm catching reruns of CSI; the random "Bacon Porn" crap they print every month in Maxim; and hell, I even get the half-naked women (or at least, I like my male eye candy, I'm not going to begrudge Scott his female eye candy).

But "Butterbodies"? At first I got really pissed off, and by the time I was done reading that article my brain was so pissed off at *me* for reading it that it literally jumped out of my skull and ran away. I mean, Sara Ramirez? Drew Barrymore? What the hell are mothers teaching their sons if they can't find these beautiful, vibrant women attractive because they aren't stick thin? Holy shit, Sara Ramirez has hips! And BOOBS! And my husband finds her ridiculously hot, which I should probably hate her for, if I didn't have my own little girl-crush on her myself.

Then, after I calmed down a bit, I realized something. They might as well have called that list, "The Fat Girls' Guide to Being Successful in Hollywood," because really, every single one of those women is more famous and successful than the asshat who wrote that article. (God, what I wouldn't give for Salma Hayek's boobs. They're phenomenal. Scott agrees with me on that one.) And I can guarantee you that every single one of those women has had a harder time being successful in Hollywood than your average stick-thin, plasticized blonde.

I saw a picture recently of 3 women - Men's Ideal, Women's Ideal, and the National Average. I would link to the picture, but they're mostly naked (the important parts are covered) and I don't want innocent people being offended by it (comment me if you want to see it). If this picture wasn't proof of how hard women are on ourselves about our bodies, I don't know what is: Women's Ideal was a tall, thin size 8. Men's Ideal? Curvy size 12. National Average? Size 16.

You know the thing that pisses me off the most? Now even more people will go read that article and increase the asshole's ad revenue. Which was probably the point in the first place. Or at least I hope it was. The fact that someone (or worse, multitudes of someones) actually thinks that these women are fat and unattractive really does not make me feel good about raising my daughter in this world. Or my son, for that matter. I just hope that my influence on Alex and Emma can overcome the constant bombardment of "stick thin is the only thing you should have or be!"

I grew up with that. I know how hard it is being fat in this world, and having people either assume you're stupid because you're fat or that you don't ever stop eating. I also know that I'm not the only one who is constantly questioning my body or how I look - typically "beautiful" women do it too. And that's just sad. That any of us have to do it. Whenever I'm hanging out with my friends Jennie, Sara, Kelly, Laura - any of them, really - I always hear something about how they aren't happy with themselves. No matter how beautiful they may be (and they are all beautiful, each in her own way).

So why do we have to buy into what assholes like this guy (the author of the article) have to say? It's only the opinion of one guy, disseminated for the whole country to see like it's gospel. Not everyone thinks that way - in fact, most guys I've talked to don't. Different people are attracted to different things, but from childhood on we're made fun of or judged for what we find attractive, so then we start to think that something else is better, instead of the thing we originally loved.

I'm able to find something beautiful or attractive about just about everyone I meet, whether it be their features, personality, intelligence, banter - why can't everyone else?